Those who know me know that I have 0% respect for the Toyota Prius as a private vehicle. They also know that the only reason it’s 0% is because negative percentages begin to verge on destruction of property. I don’t want to rid the world of Priuses (pronounced PRY-uses, not PREE-uses), they just make me bristle at the mere though of their existence.
Why, do you ask?
An unequivocal lack of passion.
The Toyota Prius is a hybrid, sure. It’s good for the environment. Let’s take a look at the hard numbers to start.
Toyota Prius: 51 city / 48 Hwy.
Volkswagen Jetta Hybrid: 42 city / 48 Hwy
Hyundai Sonata Hybrid: 36 city / 40 Hwy
Honda Civic Hybrid: 44 city / 47 Hwy
Ford Fusion Hybrid: 44 city / 41 Hwy
Honda Accord Hybrid: 50 city / 45 Hwy
So what have we learned? We know that the Prius (pronounced PRY-us–as in, it’s so boring that you need to be pried out of your boring little stupor when you drive it) is the most fuel efficient car of the lot.
But the problem with the Prius isn’t the fuel efficiency. It’s that it’s a boring car to drive.
It has no heart.
There’s no sensation of pleasure or emotion that comes when you turn it on.
There’s just boring, heartless efficiency.
Excitement over doldrums
Any other of the cars I highlighted are better than the Prius (PRY-us). They look better, are better to drive, and don’t make you look like a person who had reached peak and will live the rest of their days wearing elastic pants and trying to reduce their carbon footprint because they’re small individuals with nothing left to contribute on this planet.
(Do I actually think that? No. Is it funny to read? YES.)
And that’s the point. When it comes to experiences, relationships, and life itself: efficiency should be the least of our concerns. While we should definitely live with an eye on our footprint, there’s not reason why we can’t enjoy ourselves as well.
The great modern religion, YOLOism, while extreme, does bring up a good point. Try as we might, not everything will be in our control. So we might as well try to have as best a time as possible within our reality.
So sure, if driving a car that has:
Nickel mined in Canada which is then shipped all the way on an oil-burning ship to Norway where it’s shipped all the way to Japan where it’s turned into a car and then shipped all the way home
~Jeremy Clarkson, (Former) Presenter of Top Gear
appeals to you, so be it.
I’ll be here, saving the planet in a way that’s actually enjoyable.
Cover photo by Maja Petric
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