Is Frank Sinatra. He is wearing a fedora properly. Back in high school, the majority of my experiences with fedoras was that they were hats to be worn with a suit in very specific situations. Like any other accessories, they suit some better than others. As for those people, there’s a name for them: Fedora Culture. I first found out about fedora culture in high school:
For those who are uninitiated or not up to speed on fedora culture: it’s synonymous with “Nice Guy” Culture, in which (mostly) young (mostly) men complain and moan and sit there not shutting up about their “terrible love lives.” Members of this culture are usually seen wearing cargo shorts, screenprinted tees, and a mismatching fedora. Common words that these members tend to utter are: “Nice Guy”, “Friend Zone”, and “But I’m not like the other d_ucheb@gs!”
But it wasn’t until I got to college that I realized just how pervasive fedora culture is.
See, the main problem with this subgroup isn’t the fashion sense (though some of my friends would disagree with me). The main issue here is the lack of knowledge about when to call it quits.
Part of being a good anything is knowing when an approach that we are trying is failing. Another part is having the creativity to think of a new one, and the steps to set it in motion. But having blind persistence in whatever task is just going to end up harming more people than helping. As Feminspire writer Noor Al-Sibai writes:
Often, they don’t even need to be given the chance–these fedora’d “nice guy”s don’t respect women nearly as much as they claim they do, and definitely don’t respect their disinterest or their consent (or lack thereof).
“Don’t respect their disinterest or consent (or lack thereof).” Don’t. respect. The end result is that the guys end up angry of some nonexistent “friendzone”, as if the other zone was an option all along. The women, on the other hand end up feeling uncomfortable and potentially in danger.
A way to change it? Effort. By making an effort to properly communicate with someone instead of drooling all over oneself, odds are high that true understanding can arise. Simple.
To misuse an expression: Fedora culture is losing its lawsuit in the court of public opinion.
That being said, Fedoras as hats aren’t. Simply wearing one doesn’t make anyone anything any more than wearing a sombrero on May 5th makes one Mexican.
It’s the culture behind it that’s ruined the fun.