An Open Letter to Whoever Stole the License Plates Off My Dad’s Car on Sunday.

You suck.

Have I mentioned?

But then again, you did end up saving us a pretty penny on renewing our license plates for that vehicle with the new NC Tag and Tax system.

So maybe, just maybe you ended up being a good thing to happen to us. Apart from the mild inconvenience of having to be on hold with the police department for a collective 50 minutes before we were able to get any help to report the theft of a bloody license plate; and apart from the not being able to drive that car and having to go to the DMV to get that new plate; all in all you made this price go down.

About 15 minutes into the 2nd attempt to report the dastardly deed.
About 15 minutes into the 2nd attempt to report the dastardly deed.

I don’t know who you are, or what evil plans you had with that plate (NC tags VRM-9392, if anyone finds them driving around–call the police, pretty please?) but I do know that at the end of the day, you kinda sorta helped.

It'll look kinda like this, but with VRM-9392
It’ll look kinda like this, but with VRM-9392. Source: Google Images.

So while, initially, my reaction was to think “those dickheads!”, as if the world only worked in black in white; eventually the whole situation became more grey as we learned that there was, indeed a price savings when you apply for a new tag instead of renew the old one.***

You reminded me that not everything is in black and white–moreover most things are (pardon the reference) really 50 shades of gray. Not in the bondage, whippy, sex-y way.  Well…hopefully not. But in that one doesn’t really know quite what people’s motivations are.

It could be that you were off to rob some Bank of America, BB&T or 7-11 just as likely as you were neighborhood pranksters. While it would be nice to jump to the worst possible conclusion and hate you forever and curse you with a thousand lampreys shooting out of the next toilet on which you sit, part of being an adult is to not be as emotional when it comes to things.

So I wish not lampreys, but just a massive guilt trip.

Because imagine a THOUSAND of these things flying out at you O_O
Because imagine a THOUSAND of these things flying out at you O_O

You know what? It’s kinda ok now. Sure, you stole those plates and inconvenienced us. But we didn’t lose any steam. So for that reason, have a very merry 2014: one in which you find better times that lead you to stop stealing things from other things.

You still kinda suck though.

***DISCLAIMER: Don’t get any ideas. “Stealing” your tags to save money is fraud. Please only do this if your tags are legitimately stolen. Otherwise it’s off to Davy Jones’ Locker with you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s