Soooooooooooooo, lemme apologize for the dearth of posts on here recently. When exam season hits at university it hits HARD. But! It’s all over now, and all of the college students of North Carolina can begin to head home and prepare for the holidays in a way that no one ever saw coming: by being with family.
It’s with our families that we learned our first lessons and it’s there that we learned our first definition of love:
Love isn’t complicated. We just make it so.
We’ve got tendency to get all caught up in the grand feelings and gestures of love and loving that we forget entirely to pay attention to the object of our affection, whoever that object may be. In time, we get used to our families and begin to not stand them. Or we begin to take our partner for granted and begin to stop trying as hard as we used to. Or we lose our patience with ourselves.
So what’s the difference?
Our definition of love is.
I’ve slacked off too much for my liking. With family, friends, and my girlfriend I began to pay less and less active attention and enter a form of Autopilot. That’s dangerous.
That’s why this year, I won’t set any New Year’s Resolutions.
What’s the difference?
A New Year’s Resolution is one thing or two that we pledge to stop or start doing with no differentiation between success or failure, no milestones, and hardly any thought.
The Annual Review process needs time for self-reflection. It involves sitting down and thinking about the good and bad things in this life and requires candor with myself.
And while I don’t know much about the other parts of the review, rediscovering love deserves a high berth in my 2013 review.
On the familial side: a greater attempt to follow up and genuinely be with family without distraction. My youngest brother wants me to teach him things he’s going to learn in the third grade before he gets there. My oldest youngest brother wants me to teach him French Phonetics to help him improve his French and by God, I’m gonna get that done. But I’m also going to continue beyond that.
On the friendship side: I want to pay more attention to simply paying attention to what everyone says. Being a talkative person, I like to opine–maybe more than I should from time to time. For 2014, the goals I will set will help me listen better and truly interact with them. No computers or phones to distract, just conversation.
On the amorous side: I want to lose the lazy. She’s too important for me to pretend that everything is fine and dandy. Oh no. While we may have lost some things that we have in common with the change to a university setting–we still do have many things. And there are many more things that we can discover. But for that to happen I have to be more active in loving her. That may not mean pouring on the love all the time, it may mean pressing off when I need to. Just like with Charmin Ultra, sometimes less is more.
Nobody said love’s easy.
So stay tuned for other parts of the annual review, and for the progress and planning for this first goal.